Lessons to learn.

This photo sums up my life RIGHT now. I have so much time on my hands, I don't know what to do with it. This waiting around for something to happen is so frustrating, because usually things would happen to me and I had to pick and choose what I would spend my time on. Now it is spilling out my ears and I barely can swim through it to do something productive.

Last summer I had a similar experience, except worse. I went home for the summer to live with my parents, and I loved that. I also had secured an excellently paying summer job. Things were going to be great.

For the entire month of May, I pretty much wasted my time away. I spend every evening home from work doing silly things on the computer (like watching 5 seasons of a favorite cartoon show from my childhood. I know.) instead of spending time with my parents and grandfather, or being outside, or reading, writing, organizing, cleaning, serving, shopping, anything. I really did nothing worthwhile for all the month of May. But I wasn't going to back to Provo until the 15th of August, so I had some time to shape up, right?

The first week of June I had a weird tickle in my throat. That tickle turned into a 3-month, mysterious, hacking-to-the-point-of-vomiting cough with absolutely no symptoms. There was one moment in the month of June or July, I can't remember, where I really was quite sick and I slept in the room down the hall from my parents (my bedroom is in the basement) so my mom could come to my aid as I needed it. And I needed it.

I went to the doctor to get some blood tests and x-rays to see what was wrong with me. That was actually pretty cool, mostly because since I was still 19 I could go to the new Children's Hospital. But there was nothing that showed up anywhere wrong. I did learn I have kyphosis, a weakness in between two vertebrae in my upper back/neck that will lead to a humpback when I'm old if I don't do therapy now. So I'm working on that.

I had no plausible reason for being so ill. And I felt completely fine, when I wasn't coughing. But I had to be careful not to induce any of that coughing, and I couldn't sleep because I was always coughing.

My summer, MY summer drifted away while I was sleeping in a bed or being late to work because I was ill. All the friends, fun, bonfires, games, time I could have spent doing something memorable or productive fell to spending time getting better. And man did I regret the month of May.

Don't let time slip through your hands at any moment, because you really can never get it back. It is such a classic, timeless lesson (irony? yes.) but it is so true. I wish I had that month of May back. But all I'll get is the lesson I learned.

This is probably why I have a general aversion to watching TV or movies on a regular basis. I feel more relaxed when I am with friends, family, or reading a book; TV and movies are hardly at the quality to be inspirational or uplifting, so I prefer to have them use my precious time as little as possible. I am a weakling for all things internet, so that is this summer's focus. Less time online = more time greatly spent.

And speaking of time, I've got so little left to get ready for the day. ciao.

Word of the Day: iatrogenic \ahy-a-truh-JEN-ik\, adjective; A malady induced inadvertently by a physician or surgeon or by medical treatment or diagnostic procedures.

(just in case you are wondering, I always get the word of the day after I finish my post, so the fact that the words always coincide with some aspect of my post is starting to creep me out.)

No one sings about Monday morning.

Why is it, no matter how many times my alarm goes off, I'll stay in bed for as long as possible on a Monday morning? Am I afraid of the week? Certainly not, have you heard about my week (weak) schedule? Class from 1-4 on Monday and Tuesday. The End.

Do I wish to continue dreaming sweet dreams? Maybe, if I could remember what they were. But I don't recall any princes, hovering couches, or Cary Grant doing the Macarena, any of which would qualify for a sweet dream.

Speaking of the Macarena. Do you remember when you learned the macarena? I don't. But I think I knew it when I was really young ... I remember doing it at Lansing Elementary (which, out of curiosity, I researched and found out that on greatschools.org it has received a 2 out of 10 rating. My second elementary school, Sunrise Elementary, received a 5 out of 10. I realize those are current ratings, but from my memory, the education I was receiving and I could have received at Lansing was monumentally better than what I got at Sunrise. Ask my mom. She'll tell ya.) (And quite frankly, I don't consider attending a school where high scores are the qualifications for a "good education" a guarantee for producing societal stewards who take serious responsibility in their education and understand the implications of their leadership and examples. But that is for another day.)

Am I just being lazy? that is a reaaaaally good question. And probably the closest answer.

Am I tired? Yes. Always. But that is a new goal of mine, to eradicate sleepiness from my life. Who needs it?

Somehow, I managed to get out of bed and still do what I wanted early in the morning. But that also makes me wonder about myself. What is it that pushes me to get out of bed? What is it that motivates action?

You can believe anything. But believing in something enough to act upon takes significantly more accountability.

Word of the Day: jnana: \juh-NAH-nuh\, noun: Absolute knowledge acquired through meditation and study as a means of reaching (in Hinduism) Brahman; (in Buddhism) a state of awareness or conceptual thought.

Mayday, Mayday, it's May Day!

Today is the First of May. This means a number of things.

1. I will turn 20 in exactly 23 days from today. 20 is half-way to 40. holy cow. (Not that 40 is old, but I used to be 6 just a few days ago.)

2. in 13 days, I'll be in a van with x amount of art people driving all over the northwest part of the country. stoked, am i.

3. Today my sister's family is driving to Colorado to live with mi padres and work my bro-in-law's internship. I'm excited for my mother, having a daughter plus two grandkiddies move in is probably the best kind of summer treat she could get.

4. There are only 7 months left in the year 2010. Technically 8, since we haven't done a lick of May yet, but ... numbers are different. 7 months.

5. The number 5 = May.

6. If you can't tell, I've been pulling really hard to come up with interesting things for about the last 4 of these 6.

Well ... that's about it. I miss my friends, but I'll see them again soon or someday, and I need to drink more water.

Word of the Day: omnific \om-NIF-ik\ , adjective; creating all things; having unlimited powers of creation.